learmarium

Leer; A desirous, sly, or knowing look. armārium; a cupboard, closet. Welcome, here the lecherous aren't creepy.

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Rowdy Rathod

So this is my annual I am so proud to be Indian post, and I swear I really really really tried almost continuously for hours I went through unlimited lists to search and I must say with great dismay, Indian blokes you let me down.Big time.Like Major crazy big time. I googled hot, good looking, most beautiful , famous Indians till my nails broke, and I must say I got at least 4000 gorgeous hits, and they were all women.Each and every one of them. Sure I got the token Arjun Rampal’s, John Abraham,Shah Rukh Khan, Hrithik Roshan, but true unbridled gorgeousness. NONE. IMDB even rubbed it in my face when its list of the most recognizable Indian celebs included at least 6 over the hill stars like Naziruddin Shah, Om Puri, Naveen Andrews and Deep Roy I mean seriously I died. And for every old withered uncle, they had a gorgeous Aishwarya Rai, Frieda Pinto, Rhona Mitra, Padma Laxmi - seriously do any other men have it this good? I’m scandalized. 

I almost literally gave up, not all was lost though I discovered a lot of nonsense that I could have lived happily without knowing like the Abba Teens brunette is half Indian and aged terribly, that Milo Ventimiglia my one true true love is also Indian and like not just native Indian but desi Indian, that was my only refuge sure he is probably 100th part Indian but its the sign that we belong together.But yet like the paradox of the country we live in, I finally found a smoldering ray of hope in the fresh faced Josh Rathod, I cannot confirm as of now if he is even Indian, I simply have to go on his surname and blind faith, he is a model for a British Agency, and probably very young, but here is to the future!

Filed under Josh Rathod Source modeling agency Milo Ventimiglia jai ho arjun rampal SRK Shah Rukh khan Hrithik Roshan Om puri Naveen Andrews frieda pinto aishwarya rai rhona mitra padma laxmi

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You shall go to the Ballou

Tyson Ballou was probably the reason I went to fashion school for, I was living in this dream Jane by Design, that I would graduate and go to all these fancy balls, where I can wear masks and gowns and meet delicious dapper boys. But I must warn you this is a huge LIE, so if your 15 wondering on what to do with your life and think the fashion industry might be a solution to making your life better, remember it might just make it worse, hours are hectic, work is crazy, environments are toxic and the boys are gay.

Still I’m now a stylist and even now I have it tough, the male models are bulky silly and literally ripping out of their clothes if only I was styling hotties like Mr. Ballou, his body is a wonderland! Tyson is completely photogenic and one of the most familiar faces on the block, just look at the jaw, cheekbones, his face structure is the stuff even Tyra Banks would dream of! To top everything he is one southern charmer, I can just imagine that drool worthy drawl,he was discovered in his home town of Texas when he was just 15 and went on to do campaigns like Versace, Exte, Dolce and Gabanna, Tommy Hilfiger,Calvin Klein etc etc and has appeared in almost every single publication known to mankind. Still not convinced with his hotness, look at the way Madonna is grabbing on hard to him in her commercial for DnG sunglasses, anything remotely molested by Madonna or Miley Cyrus, has to be good enough or maybe even too good for me.

PS another great trivia, just like the delish Daniel Henney, Tyson has also been the face of Biotherm with the most gorgeous images in the campaign, me needs to become best friends with the casting team at Biotherm! Dream guy I hope your listening, you need to be endorsing Biotherm all the time, yummy!

Filed under Southern Comfort acccent calvin klien ck dolce and gabbana model modelizer texas yall tyson ballou dolce and gabanna madonna miley cyrus jane by design homo gay Dapper Versace Biotherm

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Ho ho ho !

Damn, Christmas came early this year, and it came in the packaging of the fine Lee Min Ho, I’ve been a good good girl! Clearly my current obsession with Korea is bordering on dangerous, I’ve spent all of the last month watching every single Korean show, music video, movie I could get my hands on, and trust me every visual is a learing professional’s dream come true. Korean boys rule, they are just gorgeous, well dressed, sing like angels and I for one cannot understand a single word they say!(except I love you, caught on to that pretty fast)

So I do not know why I have this Asian obsession but I clearly do, there’s just something about these men, they are so well groomed, dress nice, have better skin than me and that flicky hair I die, it takes all kinds to make this word more beautiful to look at and Korea is as good a place as Brazil to start off with. I discovered Lee while watching the hilarious Personal Preference, where he plays a faux gay roomie to the lead actress and of course falls in love with her. They think he is gay cos he dresses real well and is organized, damn you should see his outfits  they are like dream husband material, for realz. He also gained major popularity for his show Boys over flowers, which is on my next to watch list. Min Ho started as a model and even currently does some of the most established commercials in Korea including LG,Samsung, Cadillac and my all time favorite Dunkin Donuts, I mean Lee Min Ho eating a donut, sometimes the simple things in life are most precious and delicious!

Filed under lee min ho korean korea fighting singer model dapper asian asian fetish dunkin donuts samsung LG dressed to impress personal preference K- Drama K- pop in the hair

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Mulroney Drive

OK Zooey Deschanel I get it, your super quirky, everyone loves you and you can wear black opaque-ish tights even when your shooting on the the beach in like 60 degrees Celsius. You win, I surrender. Your already fabulous you know, your making your own show that chronicles the kooky fashionista that you are, don’t go rubbing it in my face that you get to make out with all the HOTTEST men on your show too, seriously is there a guy you bag on “The New Girl” who I do not love, the answer is no (of course I am not counting the first guy who cheats on you, cos u never really show yourself playing tonsil tennis with him.) I mean u start slow with Ryan Kwanten, then to stomp all over my secret imaginary husband Justin Long’s heart and then you fool around with the gorgeous beautiful Dermot Mulroney, I mean does this women have no heart?

I mean Dermot Mulroney is of the material that all my childhood dreams were made of, I can never forget him in My best friends wedding, I wanted to hate him so much for not picking Julia Roberts, but the man is gorgeous! Especially that boat scene where he dances with her, I had Tony Bennett on loop imagining it was me dancing with him, its weird when a 13 year old has Tony Bennett on her walkman, “Someday when I’m awfully low,When the world is cold,I feel a glow just thinking of you ,And the way you look tonight.” Every time I still hear that song, I get a flashback of an imaginary unrequited love, does that make any sense? to me it totally does! Chornologically I probably first stumbled on him unconsciously in Bad Girls, I believe Star Movies played that movie till the DVD broke, its a swinging tale of the wild west where the girls are bank robbers, damn my feministic ways, he played gang leader Madeline Stowe’s lover, clearly watching Revenge ages me in ways I am yet to discover!He was also in Angels in the outfield which starred my other older man crush, hey ho ho hey italiano delite Tony Danza.Then there were other instances of him being thrown in my face, the lord knows I blame Star Movies - Copycat, How to make an American quilt, Must love dogs? I mean seriously! But one thing I have to say about delish Dermot, the man is persistent he fought his way right back into my heart with appearances on Friends,where he plays Rachel’s adorable boss, The family Stone, where he is dealing with his psycho girlfriend SJP and of course the cherry on the cake The Wedding Date, hell Debra Messing made me feel less guilty for being  single at weddings if only I could hire an escort truly like him, life would be much simpler! And sure he is a silver fox, but I finally get how some things get better with age.


Filed under dermot mulroney the new girl zooey deschanel ryan kwanten justin long my best friends wedding julia roberts tony bennett the way you look tonight tony danza star movies madeline stowe sjp sarah jessica parker debra messing the wedding date friends Jennifer Aniston silver fox old is gold the family stone

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Take a Bow(man)

OMG Miley Cyrus, if there is anyone is this world who is delighted that you are engaged and going to at least claim to live your life with one guy, its me. Liam Hemsworth honey, hold on tight. I mean of course girl is ready to settle down, she’s had her fair share of hotness unlike the unfortunate like us, so good for her. Now back to my eye candy of today the delicious Joshua Bowman, who plays Daniel on Revenge.I mean not only does the show have all the juicy goodness, but the cherry on my cake has to Josh, in all his preppy glory. I first discovered him believe it or not in a tabloid where it was being speculated that he is dating Ms. Cyrus, then came the tabs with news about him being hooked up with Amy Winehouse, and this oddly comforted me, I mean between Miley and Amy I might actually have a chance with him here is what he has to say about his type of girl “If you line up all the people I’ve dated, I don’t know that you would find a type. I’m not really a looks guy, either. I really like someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously and who will give me shit. I don’t like people who just say, “yes sir, yes sir.” I like someone who challenges me to be a better person. That’s what’s important.”

The gorgeous Britisher - you would never be able to tell with his American put on one on the show, is just perfect best of both worlds huh? Perfection also comes for me in the form of his tattoo which is Latin for “don’t let the *Bleeps* get you down” and confesses to sleeping in the nude,my knees get even weaker, help! He is gorgeous, but clearly is a serial dater, sigh too bad he looks the way he does, those brown eyes,the messy hair, I die. But alas, his co star on Revenge Emily Vancamp already got dibs on him. But in another world maybe she will break up with him soon and stop taking revenge on all of us.

Filed under josh bowman miley cyrus amy winehouse revenge anglomania british liam hemsworth ink heart emily vancamp in the hair preppy love frat boy

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Making my Mojo Jojo(seph)

Move over JB there’s a new JV in town.Sometimes you really hit the jackpot, and find a boy that’s not only ridiculously hotness, amazing looking , but is also talented,a great dresser and doesn’t take himself too seriously and in my special case Asian! Meet the incredible Joseph Vincent, he has two first names as his name, wait they could also be two last names, damn that’s hot. His success story reads like a fairy tale he was discovered on Youtube ( as usual I owe you one again) and hasn’t looked back.The Philipino heart throb has a way with his acousticy sounding songs and enlists Jason Mraz, Jack Johnson and Bruno Mars as his inspirations. He was invited by Ellen and won a million dollars on her show and trust me he deserved every penny, just listen to his rendition of Payphone, its better than the original if I do say so myself.Check out his adorable video for Single Awareness Day S.A.D on Valentine’s day, awww Jojo, I’ll be your date, just aim the arrow on me!

Filed under joseph vincent pinoy pinoy S.A.D philipino youtube Jason Mraz bruno mars Jack Johnson ellen degeneres Payphone Maroon 5 Adam Levine

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Paul me Maybe?

To begin with I must re- explain that under no circumstances am I am one those girls who thought Twilight was real, that vampires sparkle or that drinking blood is erotic.Nor do I believe that Stephan is just soo sweet, if only I could be the doppelganger to some psycho Vampire creator would my life be awesome. I as a matter of fact only started liking Stephan once he became the Ripper, and Damon is just way too campy for my liking, Elena keep the change honey. But another pivotal reason for me liking the gorgeous Paul Wesley is merely because after my great scientific experiments in doppelgangers did I realize he also has one, also years apart and suddenly the movie is reality! To get on to that read till the end of this post.

Baring his look alike aside, Paul just won me over with his constant saving of Elena, dealing with her drama, next her I would be a walk in the rose laden equivalent of a psychology garden.But I adore the way he looks, lets not get soft on personality here. I cannot say no to a boy who rocks the leather bombers along with classy jeans and high tops! His gorgeous looks can be accredited to his Polish ancestry which he holds very dear to his heart , he speaks fluent polish, visits often and had to take his parents permission before changing his birth name of Pawel Wasilewsky, darlin u should have kept it, would have made you even hotter. Too bad he is married to Torrey Devito who co stars with him on Vampire Diaries occasionally, talk about mixing business with pleasure.


I mean if your seriously browsing this blog dedicatedly you have to have seen the new Justin Bieber video “Boyfriend” I mean seriously did no one else get it? Justin is going to grow up to look like Paul Wesley, he has broken from the Carters Curse of just getting zittier and uglier post puberty and might have finally cracked the code.

Filed under Paul Wesley justin bieber the vampire diaries Damon Salvatore Stephan Salvatore Torrey Devito Nina Dobrev Polish Eurolicious belieber better in twos nick carter aaron carter

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Pour some Miller on me

So how many of my readers really believe in serendipity and love and first sight? Well for a shallow author of this blog I finally got an indication that it might be true. It is probably the Lord all mighty’s way of making me realize that there are combinations more delicious than sour cream & onion and the value meals at KFC are just gearing me up for reality - my dream combo is here.

Johnny Depp is always a true love, but move over Mr. Depp I’ve found the real mad hatter. I caught a clip of the impeccably beautiful Ezra Miller during a brief clip on him on some show on the Cannes where he was being awarded at the Cannes Jury,but I knew it had to be instant love because he was wearing the hat! It was exactly like the one Johnny wore in Alice in Wonderland, I knew it because last Halloween I was the Queen of hearts and went through dire lengths to pay attention to every detail so I could meet a genuine Mad Hatter. I tried a million searches when I got back but really couldn’t track him, however my savior Google through the latest poster of “The Perks of being a wallflower” and there he was sandwiched between Emma Watson and the also hotness Logan Lehrman. Again for reasons of politeness and vanity I must write, I haven’t really seen him act! But from what I googled it seems like he is uber talented, and is taking up unusual roles that will again set him up to be my new edition of Johnny. Talent apart just look at that face, those chiseled features, those lips yummy suddenly my life had a soundtrack and it was juicy - by Better than Ezra! Another thing I adore about him is that he is a sartorial dream come true, look at those clothes, its like he is straight out of a K-pop video minus the makeup and girly frills, he is like a love child between Mick Jagger, Mr. Depp and a dash of K-Pop goodness, mothered by who else but Angelina Jolie- I mean just look at those lips and Grand -mothered by Yoko Ono- I love that he is so strange and arty too.He’s got the quirk alright and to top it all he can sing too, he is the drummer and lead in his band  ’Sons of an illustrious Father’, cannot wait to see him actually act but I’m guessing my drooling will have to be side tracked for that.Slurp.

PS before I get another email complaining of get over your Asian obsession already I must mention that from all my research it shows that Ezra is simply Jewish, no mentions of any Asian ancestry were discovered, hence putting him in team Joseph Gordon Levitt and Pharell Williams.

Filed under Cannes Dapper Ezra Miller Halloween Johnny Depp K-pop angelina jolie better than ezra juicy emma watson in the hair indie cool korean lippietown logan lehrman love at first sight mad hatter mick jagger sartorial dream serendipity the perks of being a wallflower we need to talk about kevin yoko ono sons of an illustrious father

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The Fantastic Mr. Fox

This post is going to be called Retro Hottie,I’m making it a regular cos when I watch reruns of old movies, I often think if only I was born then man, this guy is gorgeous! I mean the aged also deserve to dwell in their youthful past, or allow me to do the needful.

Even the shallow shall have heart. That’s true, Oprah congrats you have changed me.It’s easy to now sound all martyrly and say I love Micheal J Fox simply because he is a wonderful human being, but sadly that is so not true! I think he was probably one of my earliest crushes and watching a rerun of Teen Wolf, the original made me realize why.You must realize that growing up in India,we initially anyways for my formative years lived in a bubble which was American in the 1970s - 80s even though it was clearly we were in the nineties.So it was completely normal for me to even be 13 and still be watching reruns of Family Ties after all our entire nation probably thinks Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are still 10, yes we still have reruns of Full House and people watch it! And so thanks to the delay in technology began my torrid crush affair with Micheal J fox, I guess that explains why I have a thing for red heads ,Canadians,nice guys and short guys.Wow I think I officially just became a shrink.Michael has faced his own demons when in 2000 he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and he took it like a dude, “People always ask me if I say to myself ‘Why Me?’ and I tell them, ‘Why not me?”, and along with his gorgeous wife Tracy Polan has raised funds and awareness about the disease, such an inspiration, he is truly one nice guy.

So thus began my long love story with the gorgeous Mr.Fox,way back with the TV movie Poison Ivy, a coming of age story of kids in a camp which is guarded by dangerous poison ivy all the boys want a roll in because the camp nurse is a hottie. Mickey plays camp instructor, and as someone who detests the idea of not having a tub while vacationing even though camp ethics were lost on me, lets just say whenever I am bullied into it I look for the hottest instructor! Then camp ofcourse the role that made him a super start the Back to the Future enterprise, suddenly geeky plaid shirt wearing boys were cute.(I repeat I was still just 11 when I saw this movie maybe older, we got stuff really late in India!)He went on to court a really well rounded career with hits like Teen Wolf, Life with Mickey, The Secret of my success,The Frighteners,Greedy, Mars Attacks. He has also voiced alot of animated movies like Homeward Bound, Stuart Little,Atlantis. And has had a love affair with the silver screen with Family Ties, Spin city, Scrubs,Boston Legal.. phew I am tired, so chances you have definitely heard and seen him at some point of time in your lives, and in his immortal words, Pain is temporary but film is forever.

Filed under Michael J Fox retro hottie oprah teen wolf 80's family ties mary kate olsen full house greed canada canadian red heads have it better parkinson's tracy pollard poison ivy back to the future life with mickey mars attacks stuart little spin city

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Ruffalo-ing my feathers

I remember the exact moment I knew I was in irrevocable lust with the beautiful Mark Ruffalo - 13 going on 30, when he shows the doll house that he has made for Jennifer garner complete with a wardrobe and tub.So sweet.I die! He reminded me of what truly makes him sexy in the new Avengers flick when he uttered the words every Indian girl dreams of hearing, a white guy talking in Hindi, the words are irrelevant, let’s just say Dheere Bolo ( talk softly) really hit the right spot!

Mark often plays the wonderful dream boyfriend, so it’s no wonder that me and a million other girls (and boys) fantasize about having him on their side, just check his resume View from the top, Just like Heaven and Rumor has it. A welcome disembark from his wholesome roles he currently is making waves for playing the Hulk and the top grosser of the year, The Avengers. It was so unexpected for him to take this on but may I shun fan-boys everywhere and just say he is definitely the best Hulk, as much as I adore Edward Norton and don’t really care about Eric Bana his acting as a calm guy trying to keep his cool under bounds was riveting. Mark probably has his Wisconsin bringing up to blame for his whole good guy image, he is a mix of Italian and French Canadian genetics which contribute to his good looks.A great little known fact is that after finishing acting school he started his own theater company but spent nine years moonlighting as a bartender while doing so - I mean if this isn’t the ultimate sign we should be together I do not know what is, its like a real life Cocktail minus Tom Cruise jumping on a couch insanity. Ooh Mark I like my Margaritas on the rocks please!

Filed under comicon green mark ruffalo mr nice superhero love the avengers the hulk edward norton eric bana 13 going on 30 view from the top gwyneth paltrow jennifer garner reese witherspoon hindi canadian french italian Cocktails tom cruise margaritas

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